It’s taken me forever to write another blog post simply because I really get that no two people are the same!! I knew this but it felt nebulous, or casual in a way. How can I write posts about growing spiritually if we are all different? The guidance I give is based on my personal experience and will be true for some people but not for all. No information or way of living will ever apply to everyone, and yet there is a great assumption out there that it will.
I am unique. You are unique. Pretty basic stuff right? But we judge ourselves and we judge others – all for our differences. We forget the fact that no two of us are alike, no two designs are the same. I bet if we were to place each one of us side by side – we’d create an amazing puzzle that interlocked perfectly.
Judgement is one of the main factors that is breaking down individuals and individuality. “Why can’t she be more like me?” “Why can’t they be more like us.” “How come I can’t be more like them?” That’s not how it’s designed to work. Judgment is also detrimental to the body and causes lots of illnesses and disease.
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes.
and I might add:
Don’t judge yourself for being in the shoes you have.
You are born with a part to play, your own part, and the only person who can tell you what that part is, is you. Which means you can’t tell others what part they are to play, nor can you think you know better what is right for them. It’s impossible.
Separating Wheat From Chaff
So how do I know what is my part? I’ve been studying Human Design for a while now and have come to realize that the answer to this question is very tricky, simply because of all the conditioning I have been exposed to in my lifetime.
So there is “design” (our body cognition) and there is “conditioning” (mind-related). Conditioning happens throughout our life – it’s the stuff we take on from others and believe to be true for ourselves. Think of all the vast array of made up beliefs and assumptions that’s out there, most of which we take as fact. It’s endless. The real problem is that very same stuff we’ve come to believe, has been running our lives.
- I’m not good enough
- I’m stupid
- I should have more money
- You shouldn’t be that way
- My life is worthless
- I need to keep up with the Jones’s
Believing this stuff makes our lives impossible to change. The mind, if we listen to it and believe its endless droning, will always keep us in the same box – suffering. It will always look towards the past conditioning and use that, thinking it’s protecting us but usually making things 10x worse.
How do we change this?
We can’t, at least not with our thoughts. The best we can do is just let the thoughts be, allow them to drone on and on and on without believing or engaging with them. Try and stop your thoughts! It’s impossible simply because they just happen – they fire in the brain before we even know they are there. We believe we are the thinker thinking the thoughts – we are not.
Many people look to “their” thoughts to make decisions in their lives. Big mistake – ever wonder why you have vicious patterns and cycles? Wonder why you keep attracting the same bad stuff and negativity in your life over and over? It’s because most of us believe the thoughts and we use them to run our lives.
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”
― Buckminster Fuller
When we understand this, our lives can profoundly change for the better. Watching the thoughts, allowing them to be free to produce themselves, without judgement, and without getting sucked into their seductive nature, and certainly without believing them – we can then have access to the innate wisdom that lives in the body.
Thoughts always use the past, robbing us of the present moment if we believe them. Observing the thoughts without interference allows us to remain in the present moment. This is indeed the Power of Now, as Eckhart Tolle and many others speak about.
This takes diligence. I know for myself, my mind will do back flips and tricks to get me to believe it’s thoughts. It uses old wounds and my vulnerabilities to suck me in. I may get trapped for a bit, but the more I catch myself in the trap, the faster I can get out. I simply have to say: these thoughts are not true and I choose to not engage. The trick is to not believe the thoughts, judge them, or try to change them.
Once the mind is put on the table for observation, then the body can begin to lead us in the direction that is correct for us.
Please only take what resonates as truth for you and discard the rest!
More on individuality: Getting Awake and Wise to Keep Your Individuality
More on Human Design: Human Design: Utilizing Your Authority to Make Correct Decisions
Help with: Healing Negative Beliefs