Incidents of abuse, trauma and crisis can leave us separated and fractured. We move on, most often without even realizing we have left a piece of ourselves behind. Several years ago I watched a Star Trek Deep Space 9 episode called Emissary that demonstrated this perfectly. The captain unknowingly left a piece of himself behind with his wife as he watched her die from an accident. I realize this is “Sci-FI” TV but this example really fits what I believe happens in life.
Here’s a real-life example and why I could relate:
I came home from school one day and my doll was gone, no where to be found. I left her that morning safely tucked into my bed and returned home only to be broken- hearted. I was never the same and cried for days and days. She was my best friend and was like a safety blanket for me. Even as an adult, when I shared this story I would cry, and feel all the grief and sadness I felt on that fateful day – as if it happened yesterday.
I had fractured, leaving a part of me behind in deep grief, stuck in that moment of trauma. I grew up without that piece and whenever I recalled the incident, I’d be triggered back into that timeline, only to relive the grief held within my broken-hearted piece. I also stayed safe and kept people away, never really getting to know them.
My background is in the mental health and addiction field. Some mental health “professionals” think it’s a good idea to have people share about their trauma, making them relive it and feel all the pain again. I never thought this was a good idea. There are other ways to heal – kinder and gentler ways. (See my Resources page.)
I have since healed my fractured piece, brought her home, now safe and in my heart reunited with her doll who is also there. It’s not easy, but it is possible. I used a Journey process, and in the process I was able to apologize to my little girl and my doll. I told them I loved them and missed them both. It was also an opportunity to release anger by yelling at my mother and saying how broken hearted I was!
My book, The Path to My Heart, is about the healing journey of some of my other pieces who have made themselves known to me. It’s written in story format, each piece is a character in the story. They each have their own healing path as they make their way into my heart. It’s a very easy book to follow and a great place to start your own healing journey!
Thank you – much love and gratitude for your interest!