I’ve made a career out of being hard on myself. I’ve been my own worst enemy and abuser, experiencing cycles that delve into darkness, shutting down and withdrawing – closing off to the world and becoming unavailable. However, I do have the ability to carry on as if nothing’s wrong and fit in – when needed. My father was like that too.

A Return to Innocence


I’ve made a career out of being hard on myself. I’ve been my own worst enemy and abuser, experiencing cycles that delve into darkness, shutting down and withdrawing – closing off to the world and becoming unavailable. However, I do have the ability to carry on as if nothing’s wrong and fit in – when needed. My father was like that too.

The major themes in my life have been:

  • Living in prison, feeling trapped vs. freedom
  • Suffering and seriousness vs. light-heartedness
  • Being closed off vs. allowing love and support

Just read my past blog posts – the themes are prevalent and feel like soul lessons. People who know me socially – whether friends or colleagues, wouldn’t believe I’ve wrestled with darkness or heavy burdens. They know me as ‘friendly’ and easy to be with. Those who have lived with me however, know that my struggle with darkness is true.

But isn’t this what makes me human? As I release more and more layers of darkness, the answers to this question also evolves. If I didn’t suffer, what would it mean:

  • Give up punishment and care about myself?
  • I’m worthy and have something to give?
  • I’m not bad and actually ok?
  • I’m not a failure and good enough?

Within my growth process, I’ve asked several times: Why have I been so hard on myself? For what offense exactly? What have I done wrong to deserve this? How much longer can I carry on suffering? When will I lift my head up, drop the past burdens completely and rejoice in true freedom?

Keeping myself locked up and in a jail cell, deprived of happiness and joy? Deprived of love and comfort? Truth? Strength? Courage? What’s been the point of all of this suffering?

. . . because it’s sure felt real to me.

I suppose the point has literally been, for me anyway, suffering is an experience that exists when I believe negative and bad things about myself. Many of these beliefs are unconscious and drive me to my jail cell with no key in sight. These beliefs fight everyday to prove themselves ‘right’ and worthy of staying alive. They have fought so hard to exist that they’ve manufactured their own body to stay alive – my shadow body.

My shadow body is like the black market – bargaining, lying, wheeling and dealing to stay alive. Its life is lived at the expense of my light body. My light body has unconditional love and compassion – it will diminish itself until it can no longer be sustained. I make this happen. I disconnect my light body from Source, allowing it to shrivel up and slowly die, sacrificing itself to keep my shadow body alive and well . . . until I stop.

I’m human after all?
How much longer will I believe this lie in the context it’s been projected onto humanity and continue to use it as an excuse?
What is it really to be Human? Time for a new definition and context.

What a raw deal for my light body and my overall well-being.

Have I had enough yet?

Well – YES – I have!

Finally. Yes. I’ve had enough. I no longer need to entertain and pacify my shadow body. I can lift my head up from darkness, punishment and dejection. I’ve fired my shadow body from running my life and placed my Higher Self/Power in charge. I live through and by Divine Right Order and Timing. My innocence is returning. I don’t know God’s plans for the world or humanity, but I do know it’s a Grand Plan! I need to trust that as I release my own suffering and the suffering of others, my way is made clear and my life is now guided by light and truth. My path is open.

We’ve done nothing wrong.
Who we are as humans is not about suffering as a life sentence. We’ve been separated and disconnected from our Source – this is the origin of our suffering. Time to get re-connected!

I listen for direction and wait patiently and in faith that I will be guided and shown what’s next for me in the Divine Plan. Living from my True, Authentic Divine Self is part of that Divine Plan – and I know that makes all the difference in the world!!

Please feel free to comment below, I would love to hear from you!



16 responses to “A Return to Innocence”

  1. Sue Dreamwalker Avatar

    Such a heart centred post Donna. I can relate to the wrestling with one’s shadow self.
    We’ve been well programed and schooled in the art of feeling unworthy, so we think our self made boxes of protection we build around ourselves shut out the pain.
    Instead those boxes imprison us not to trust, and it takes many layers of peeling back those cloaks we wrap around ourselves, as the outward smiles hide the hidden tears.

    One thing I know, many more are releasing those shadows, as they search and find their wounded inner child .
    And we stop blaming ourselves or punishing ourselves. As we kearn to forgive others and ourselves.

    It took a lot of deep dives to find that innocence. But when we truly open our hearts, when we truly seek, we find that we are more than worthy, when we begin to really love ourselves. Then we become fearless, and at peace.

    It’s a beautiful place to be. And we are all discovering our true selves, one by one..

    I don’t know how I missed your post Donna but it’s exceptional. 💖
    Thank you for deeply sharing your wisdom
    🙏💕🙏

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The Path to My Heart Avatar

      Hi Sue, thank you for your thoughtful comments! What you share is so true. The shadow self is exactly like a cloak, or many cloaks. It is a path worth embarking on! The truth is popping out, as hard as some are making it to be seen, it’s coming – and yes, more people are noticing! I’ve noticed also that the light of truth is shining on the shadow body and people are starting to address it. I certainly didn’t enjoy being locked up in my prison cell but once I understood how I got there, it made a big difference. It was a hard habit to break I have to say – but worth it!!

      One thing I forgot to mention on your garden post – the ‘white line in the sky’ on your photo with the lovely tree blossoms and our chat about a flower growing out of rocks. Your photo was a modern day version of that. I’m amazed there’s beauty still left on earth and in people. No matter how hard ‘they’ try to bring us down – we flourish!! If our innocence can return under these circumstances – wow, humanity is truly hearty and unstoppable!!

      Much love to you!! Donna🥰🧸🐣

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Sue Dreamwalker Avatar

        Argh yes the white Lines in the sky.. hardly a day without their presence… I was watching a cowboy made in the 80’s and low and behold I saw two criss- crosses in the film sky.. The producers missed LOL… 🙂
        And I got your update of reply comment in my notifications Donna… So all good..

        Here’s to breaking Habits… ❤ 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

        1. The Path to My Heart Avatar

          Pesky white lines – 🤠 Glad to hear about the notification! I’ll check mine too. Yes breaking habits!! Cheers!!🥰

          Liked by 2 people

    2. SoundEagle 🦅ೋღஜஇ Avatar

      Dear Donna and Sue,

      Hello! I concur with both of you after reading the post and your comments. We are often our own worst enemies, as we tend to reside in our comfort zones, weighed down by our inertias and old habits, being too rigid to venture out and consider new and even bold perspectives or approaches, and tend to defend our turfs and ideas vigorously as though there is only a narrow range of what can be conceivably done to facilitate discovering and nurturing our true and more authentic selves.

      I would also like to resonate with both of you with the following video showing Enigma’s signature song “Return To Innocence”. This version is from the official video:

      May both of you have a wonderful and productive week!

      Yours sincerely,
      SoundEagle

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The Path to My Heart Avatar

        Thank you SoundEagle for your very thoughtful and insightful comment. You have a great gift with words! What you say really resonates with my post and what I have come to believe. My feeling is that ‘ascension’ (if you will) is all about healing the ego mind/shadow body – that which limits us and keeps us small, into liberation – no more limitations and open minded/welcoming hearted. Thank you so much for the Enigma link, I will certainly be playing it! Glad you stopped by! Kindest regards, Donna

        Liked by 1 person

        1. SoundEagle 🦅ೋღஜஇ Avatar

          Dear Donna,

          You are very welcome. Thank you for your compliment. I hope that you might also consider that I am as worthy of your praise regarding my music as much as my words. If you also happened to be an audiophile and connoisseur of fine sonic art, then you would be pleased by the availability of a fair amount of music on my blog, much of which comprising my musical compositions. These constitute only a fraction of my total musical output, as I have yet to find time to showcase the rest on my blog. Moreover, those published compositions are by no means representative of my musical oeuvres, which are very diverse. Hence, you may want to turn on your finest speakers or headphones, as some of my posts and pages will be playing music to you automatically. A good post to visit for a good sample of my music is entitled “🦅 SoundEagle in SoundCloud: Art, Music and Compositions about New Sensations, Love, Life, Country, Nature, Dreaming, Meditation and Spirituality 🏞🎼🎶” available at

          https://soundeagle.wordpress.com/2013/03/10/soundeagle-in-soundcloud-art-music-and-compositions-about-new-sensations-love-life-country-nature-dreaming-meditation-and-spirituality/

          Please enjoy!

          Yours sincerely,
          SoundEagle

          Liked by 1 person

          1. The Path to My Heart Avatar

            Hi SoundEagle!
            Glad we got the comments sorted! As you thought, they were in my Spam folder. Yes, I will go and check out your music, sounds exciting and thank you for the invitation! I think between you and Sue Dreamwalker – you guys have enough talent for the planet! I really appreciate people who share their talent with others!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. SoundEagle 🦅ೋღஜஇ Avatar

              Dear Donna,

              Thank you very much for resurrecting my comments.

              Yes, Sue is a very accomplished artist in her own right, not to mention her ability to paint!

              If you had listened and liked Enigma’s signature song “Return To Innocence”, then I would like to introduce you to anoher song by Enigma, which is featured in my post entitled “🌌🚀 One Day We’ll Fly Away ✈️💫✨” available at

              https://soundeagle.wordpress.com/2021/06/03/one-day-well-fly-away/

              This post also features two of my poems presented with stylish illustrations and animations.

              Yours sincerely,
              SoundEagle

              Liked by 1 person

            2. The Path to My Heart Avatar

              Thank you SoundEagle! I love your poems! One day we will indeed fly away. Seems like we came here to get some business done and yes, when we’re ready – we will fly! Thanks for the Enigma songs too! Still listening to your music – very enjoyable as I am editing my blog, getting it updated with audio and how I want it to look!! Thanks again!

              Liked by 1 person

            3. SoundEagle 🦅ೋღஜஇ Avatar

              Dear Donna,

              You are very welcome! I am delighted that you perused and loved the poems featured in my said post entitled “🌌🚀 One Day We’ll Fly Away ✈️💫✨“. Thank you. I would be very grateful if you would kindly leave a comment there as a token of your visit. You are very welcome to copy and paste some or all of your previous reply as part of your forthcoming comment to be submitted to the comment section of the post, to which your esteemed reply clearly pertains and also belongs. Please feel free to expand on your comment if you have additional matters to convey about the post and any salient aspects of its contents. Thank you in anticipation.

              Yours sincerely,
              SoundEagle

              Liked by 1 person

  2. Julia Preston Avatar

    What a powerful message Donna. You’re singing the song I’ve been singing to myself for eons. But I’ve wised up and changed my tune, and can now honestly say—life looks a whole brighter on the light side than on the dark. Thank you for the reminder to keep looking to the light—and to keep on loving myself even when I accidentally and temporarily slip back into the dark. See you in the light!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The Path to My Heart Avatar

      Hi Julia! Thank you for your comment! Yes, a powerful reminder – and life does look better from the light side and easier too. It truly does feel like eons – you’re right on about that – but I suppose what it comes down to is – now. Finally. See you too in the light!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. dawnhub144 Avatar

    Made me chuckle, as truth released within me as I read your words.. What a job we do on ourselves !… Fantastic insights and keep up the great work.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The Path to My Heart Avatar

      Thank you Dawn! Yes, we certainly can be our own worst enemies. So glad you found truth for yourself in my experience and words!! Wonderful. Love, Donna

      Liked by 1 person

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