Imagine what life would be like without judgment. As far as I can tell, judgment is pervasive and automatic: we do it without realizing. We judge ourselves and we judge others. We have opinions and we make comparisons. Our brain does this in split seconds and before we know it, our opinion or judgment is being thought and/or spoken. In order to do this we must access the past.
Definition of judgment: the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing.
I’ve been thinking about the recent guidance I received: “Your past is a lie, it’s not who you are.” (You can read more about it here.) Believing this to be true, it follows that all judgments I’ve had about myself are lies too. It’s a mind blower. How do I carry on without a past? What if I judged myself as being a failure based on a story I made up from perceptions in my past. If the past isn’t true, then I can no longer identify myself as a failure.
How Does This work?
What if I come across a new situation that reminds my brain about a time when I failed at something? It’s going to kick into high gear and make me hyper-vigilant, super careful, and whatever else it thinks I need in order to avoid making a mistake and feeling stupid. All this hype and fear inevitably gets in the way and a mistake is made. I am left with what I was trying to avoid.
And as the brain goes, day in and day out – comparing and judging, assessing and evaluating millions of pieces of information – in order to keep us “safe.”
But if the Past is a Lie?
I would have to slow down my brain process somehow and examine any thoughts or feelings that comes up and say to them – you are not true, you are based on a past that is a lie. I’m getting better at catching myself, but it’s tough. I still believe my thoughts and become identified with them. I still judge myself too and have to try not to fall into the trap – judging myself on how often I judge myself!
What’s needed is to become a neutral observer. No judgment whatsoever – which translates into no more suffering. As much as possible, observe your thoughts and feelings, knowing they are based on a perceived past that isn’t true. Watch them and observe with neutrality. Suffering comes when we succumb to their temptations and believe them, allowing them to define who we are:
You know you’re a failure . . . you’re not good enough . . . that person over there is smarter than you . . . you’re getting too old for this . . . who do you think you are . . . you’re a fake . . . give it up
- Don’t try and change them
- Watch them as if you are watching from outside yourself
- Know it’s all a lie based on the past
- These thoughts are fear based, not love based
- Have compassion for brain, knowing it’s only trying to keep you safe
- Have compassion for yourself, be kind and gentle
Moving forward without a past? One thing I learned in a Landmark Worldwide course was how to create myself as a possibility and live from that creation. Literally make up a new context for my life as a possibility, causing me to “move forward from the future.”
Who I am is the possibility of ______________. Let’s say as an example:
- Who I am is the possibility of living from wholeness.
- I am the possibility of the possibility of living with peace.
- Who I am is the possibility of living without a past.
- Who I am is the possibility of safety for every student in school.
These creations must come from a deep sense of passion, something that excites you and defines who you are in every moment. Something that can be stated enthusiastically and when spoken – believed and unquestioned by others. It is who you are!
Give it a try! Take some time and really think about it. Come up with a few and test them out in front of family and friends – see how your doing by their reactions. If you stun them into silence – you’ve got the perfect one!!! Please share below any thoughts!!