How to be Free of Negative Circumstances in Your Life: Taking Self-Responsibility

This is a tough subject and the only way through it, I feel, is to be frank. Please only take what resonates with you and discard the rest. No one really wants to be told they are the source of their own misery and suffering. If you are blaming others and circumstances for your predicaments and unhappiness – you are missing a golden opportunity for some amazing changes and growth to take place in your life. Misery and suffering come from within but it’s not who you are and it’s not usually what you think it is – typically.

The people and situations in our life are there because we have made it so. -Yes! – we are the source of the manifestation, the undesired circumstances, people, places and things! This is hard to believe and hard to grasp at first. Some examples might be:

  • “What do you mean? It’s not my fault my boss treats me like crap!”
  • “Why is it when I get some extra money, something breaks down?”
  • “How come my friends betray me?”
  • “I never get a promotion.”
  • “Why am I always sick?”

When we take responsibility for the things we chronically complain about – we have set a course for eliminating them from our lives! But we must see ourselves as the source. This means letting go of victim mentality. No one, but no one wants to hear or believe they are a victim. It is a horrible thing to admit and it feels terrible. I remember in my early years of growth I was struggling to try and figure something out that was bothering me. I heard very clearly in my head – “Victim.” I said: “Noooo waaaayy!” . . .

Sorry Donna – but YES way! 

This is not easy!! It takes willingness and diligence.

When we take on and espouse a victim mentality, we are essentially telling the Universe – “It’s ok to pick on me.” You will become a target and the negative circumstances you want less of will come to you in abundance. You may find yourself saying some of the words from the examples above or maybe just: “Why do bad things always happen to me?”

Like I said, this is not pretty and I can’t think of a nice way to say this.

But . . . “so-and-so said”, or “so-and-so did” . . . Yes, this is true if you continue to believe it and need it to prolong your suffering!

However, please ask yourself:

  • How long are you going to let it run your life?
  • How long are you going to continue to suffer over it?
  • At what point will you let go of suffering and misery or ill health?
  • When will the cost be greater than the payoff?
  • You may not have to hit the bottom after all . . .

Sometimes when we face these things in our life and heal them for ourselves – these people, places and things either disappear or change because WE don’t resonate with them anymore. Once our tendency and habits of suffering have been faced, questioned and allowed to be, without judgment, they no longer have power over us.

I suppose the good news is being a victim of . . . (fill in the blank) . . . can not exist in the realm of taking self-responsibility. It’s impossible.

Are you willing to release resentments, regrets, petty disputes, family conflicts, put aside negativity and judgment? These things hurt you and effect you in a very negative way, even to the point of causing illness and negative circumstances.

Again . . . This is not easy!

But it is worth a try. Begin to see the world as one you have created.  Usually our world consists of elements from programming that have been fed to us as truth and things you have been told that were lies and believed were true (“You are stupid”, “You are not worthy”). Once these things are addressed, and your wounds healed, your life will change. As I wrote in my last post on self-love – once that journey begins, things have to change because you have changed your vibration.

Law of Cause and Effect

Everything in our life is there because it is attracted to your specific vibration – no exceptions! It is the Law of Cause and Effect. From Energetic Synthesis Ascension Glossary:

All human beings are responsible for their thoughts, deeds, actions and behaviors, all of these are direct choices made by each person in the moment and will have direct Energetic Consequences. Whatever quality of energies we prepare our body to be resonant with or hold as spiritual conduit, whether it is positive forces or negative forces, is what we allow ourselves to have consent with. Whatever kind of force we are in consent with (whether we know this or not), is the frequency that our body and consciousness is subjected to in Universal Law.

You may have also heard of The Secret (book or DVD), or The Law of Attraction. These are great resources to help get you started and to better understand the way Universal Laws operate. 

  • Face your fear
  • Question your beliefs
  • Begin to see the world as “your world” and accept everyone and everything in it as something that exists because you put it there and gave energy to it.
  • Become a neutral observer – allow it all (feelings, judgments, people, situations) to just “be” without going into story about it.

Previous posts that may help:

My book, The Path to My Heart

Venture along with Donna and her newly-discovered aspects as they embark on this incredible and enlightening journey of self-healing, determined to become whole again by facing their pain and ultimately filling the void inside with self-love.

Please share, I would love to hear what is on your mind!

6 thoughts on “How to be Free of Negative Circumstances in Your Life: Taking Self-Responsibility

  1. Oh boy. Way not easy, I agree. Especially when emotions are flying high and one is under stress it’s easy to fall back into bad habits. Difficulties arise when children are taught dysfunction, fear, anger, abuse and then to eliminate one by one, those patterns fostered in them is SO hard. I know cause I walk that road. My Mom who is dying and probably will do so within the next 2 days, that entire situation has wrought havoc in my life. Nightmares, me waking screaming, emotions aroused and a mess, anger, hatred, shock at what I SEE within my family’s dynamics, pain, horror, flashbacks, memories, falling into victim, falling into old harsh patterns, …. I unlike a sister of mine will not submerge that which has risen but allow that to be known, embraced, dealt with, acknowledged, all with the Purpose in mind to forgive, to befriend, and to let go. I have come to Love my main abuser (I can say that here now due to Mom still being alive do will not say that yet on my blog) which was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. And you wouldn’t believe it but I actually have one brother right now who is holding that against me. I’ve betrayed him because I sided with the enemy … in his thinking. Then there are the golden “inner circle” siblings who are refusing to allow anyone any time with Mom during her last days on this earth. It’s only them and her. I’ve overcome a lot, Donna, yet this situation is pushing me to the edge and over. There is a reason why I stay far away from my family. I have worked so hard to get my Causes and Effects working so I reap “good” and I’ve done it to a great extent. I will not allow anyone to destroy what I earned and IF I immersed my tender spirit among these dark people, I would be harmed. I have Peace in my Heart as I Lovingly and Quietly stay far away from my siblings except for my one sister. Thank you for this post and thank you for allowing me to share my feelings. I will be using Hospice Counseling Services. My Mom’s demise has shaken my world. Much Love to you this day! 💝

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    • Hi Amy – much love to you. Now I know why we connect so well and can relate to each other. I know who you are because I am you. My mother is dying too, she is being tormented by her own self who took no responsibility for what happened to us as kids. She is literally pulling her hair out and yelling to God to take her. Morphine isn’t even working. The only way out would have been if she had taken responsibility at any time. Now it’s too late, she is not coherent. Not sure how much longer she can last. I am complete with her, have total forgiveness and unconditional love. I am also dealing with and healing my compartments and fragments, guilt, anger, shame, weaknesses – just like you. We have love and forgiveness for our mothers – we made it through the other side – complete! I am so grateful. I don’t need to be with my mother at her side now. I know she loved me the only way she knew how and I know she knows I love her. I’ll be getting a call soon – mom died – and I have no idea what feelings will emerge from me – I can guess – lots of sadness. I will face that when it comes. I am grateful for my sisters, we are all on the same page and are close. I am so grateful. My mom didn’t use splitting – thank God. I know many families who are in a similar situation as yourself – split and broken up by different ways they have chosen to deal with their pain. It’s not easy and I am so sorry your family is split – it is a casualty of war in a way. You have done an amazing amount of heart work to be able to feel the love you feel!! Our mom’s deaths will bring light into our worlds, an era over, a past released. It will be nice on the other side! Much love to you Amy – you are not alone and it does all work out because you are in your heart and taking care of yourself!

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      • Oh, Donna, this place of waiting is just so hard. I so understand what you are presently feeling and experiencing right now. I told my chiropractor yesterday I cannot remember the last time I took a deep breath because it seems as if I’m holding my breath waiting waiting waiting. As for morphine… It is a terrible drug, for it does not work. I don’t understand why it is still being used but yes like your mother my mother is now getting morphine and I know that it will not cover her pain. Instead morphine will torment a thousand times even more than what is already present. I suggested to those who are taking care of her that Dilaudid be used instead of morphine and I did not even get a reply of any kind but instead I sensed whole lot of anger that I dare to even suggest something when I am not in charge as they are. Oh yes the extent of dysfunction I see in my brothers and sisters gives me the shudders and it only reconfirms my choice for not allowing these people into my life. I actually spoke to one of my brothers yesterday not one who is involved in taking care of my mother, who actually said he hopes our mother suffers at the end because she deserves it. Sorry, I just cannot even fathom that level of hatred. The weight is on him because he has not forgiven our mother. Hang in there, Donna. Just hang in there and I will do the same. I too do not know what my reaction will be when I get the news. God be with you at this time and I am very very proud of you for healing as much as you have. I know it has not been easy. Much love, Amy

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      • OK, we’ll hang in there together! Bless your siblings and let them go – sometimes our blood family is only there to provide extra grit for our growth! God is with you at this time too! Much love, Donna

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