This is a tough subject and the only way through it, I feel, is to be frank. Please only take what resonates with you and discard the rest. No one really wants to be told they are the source of their own misery and suffering. If you are blaming others and circumstances for your predicaments and unhappiness – you are missing a golden opportunity for some amazing changes and growth to take place in your life. Misery and suffering come from within but it’s not who you are and it’s not usually what you think it is – typically.
The people and situations in our life are there because we have made it so. -Yes! – we are the source of the manifestation, the undesired circumstances, people, places and things! This is hard to believe and hard to grasp at first. Some examples might be:
- “What do you mean? It’s not my fault my boss treats me like crap!”
- “Why is it when I get some extra money, something breaks down?”
- “How come my friends betray me?”
- “I never get a promotion.”
- “Why am I always sick?”
When we take responsibility for the things we chronically complain about – we have set a course for eliminating them from our lives! But we must see ourselves as the source. This means letting go of victim mentality. No one, but no one wants to hear or believe they are a victim. It is a horrible thing to admit and it feels terrible. I remember in my early years of growth I was struggling to try and figure something out that was bothering me. I heard very clearly in my head – “Victim.” I said: “Noooo waaaayy!” . . .
Sorry Donna – but YES way!
This is not easy!! It takes willingness and diligence.
When we take on and espouse a victim mentality, we are essentially telling the Universe – “It’s ok to pick on me.” You will become a target and the negative circumstances you want less of will come to you in abundance. You may find yourself saying some of the words from the examples above or maybe just: “Why do bad things always happen to me?”
Like I said, this is not pretty and I can’t think of a nice way to say this.
But . . . “so-and-so said”, or “so-and-so did” . . . Yes, this is true if you continue to believe it and need it to prolong your suffering!
However, please ask yourself:
- How long are you going to let it run your life?
- How long are you going to continue to suffer over it?
- At what point will you let go of suffering and misery or ill health?
- When will the cost be greater than the payoff?
- You may not have to hit the bottom after all . . .
Sometimes when we face these things in our life and heal them for ourselves – these people, places and things either disappear or change because WE don’t resonate with them anymore. Once our tendency and habits of suffering have been faced, questioned and allowed to be, without judgment, they no longer have power over us.
I suppose the good news is being a victim of . . . (fill in the blank) . . . can not exist in the realm of taking self-responsibility. It’s impossible.
Are you willing to release resentments, regrets, petty disputes, family conflicts, put aside negativity and judgment? These things hurt you and effect you in a very negative way, even to the point of causing illness and negative circumstances.
Again . . . This is not easy!
But it is worth a try. Begin to see the world as one you have created. Usually our world consists of elements from programming that have been fed to us as truth and things you have been told that were lies and believed were true (“You are stupid”, “You are not worthy”). Once these things are addressed, and your wounds healed, your life will change. As I wrote in my last post on self-love – once that journey begins, things have to change because you have changed your vibration.
Law of Cause and Effect
Everything in our life is there because it is attracted to your specific vibration – no exceptions! It is the Law of Cause and Effect. From Energetic Synthesis Ascension Glossary:
All human beings are responsible for their thoughts, deeds, actions and behaviors, all of these are direct choices made by each person in the moment and will have direct Energetic Consequences. Whatever quality of energies we prepare our body to be resonant with or hold as spiritual conduit, whether it is positive forces or negative forces, is what we allow ourselves to have consent with. Whatever kind of force we are in consent with (whether we know this or not), is the frequency that our body and consciousness is subjected to in Universal Law.
You may have also heard of The Secret (book or DVD), or The Law of Attraction. These are great resources to help get you started and to better understand the way Universal Laws operate.
- Face your fear
- Question your beliefs
- Begin to see the world as “your world” and accept everyone and everything in it as something that exists because you put it there and gave energy to it.
- Become a neutral observer – allow it all (feelings, judgments, people, situations) to just “be” without going into story about it.
Previous posts that may help:
- Am I Selfish if I Love Myself? Uncovering the Lies and Myths of Self-Love
- How is Your Emotional Health?
- Affirmations and Florence Scovel Shinn
- Healing Negative Beliefs
- Healing the Inner Child
- Learn to Become a Compassionate Witness
- Building a Connection with God
My book, The Path to My Heart
Venture along with Donna and her newly-discovered aspects as they embark on this incredible and enlightening journey of self-healing, determined to become whole again by facing their pain and ultimately filling the void inside with self-love.
Please share, I would love to hear what is on your mind!