No one wants to be told they’re the source of their own misery and suffering. If you’re blaming others and circumstances for your predicaments and unhappiness, you’re missing a golden opportunity for some amazing changes and growth to take place in your life. Misery and suffering come from within but it’s not who you are and it’s not usually what you think it is – typically.
The people and situations in your life are there because you have made it so. Yes, we are the source of the manifestation, the undesired circumstances, people, places and things! It takes a while to get used to this idea, but with time, you’ll appreciate it.
Some examples might be:
- “It’s not my fault my boss treats me like crap!”
- “Why is it when I get some extra money, something breaks down?”
- “How come my friends betray me?”
- “I never get a promotion.”
- “Why am I always sick?”
When we take responsibility for the things we chronically complain about – we set a course for eliminating them from our lives. But we must see ourselves as the source. This means letting go of victim mentality. No one, but no one wants to hear or believe they’re a victim. It’s a horrible thing to admit, and it feels terrible. I remember in my early years of growth I was struggling to figure something out that was bothering me. I heard very clearly in my head – “Victim.”
I said: “Noooo waaaayy!”
Sorry Donna – but YES way!
It takes willingness and diligence.
When we take on and espouse a victim mentality, we’re essentially telling the Universe – “It’s ok to pick on me.” We will become a target and the negative circumstances we want less of will come to us in abundance. You may find yourself saying some of the words from the examples above or maybe just:
“Why do bad things always happen to me?”
Like I said, this is not pretty, and I can’t think of a nice way to say it -but . . . “so-and-so said”, or “so-and-so did” . . . Yes, this is true if you continue to believe it and need to prolong your suffering!
However, please ask yourself:
- How long are you going to let it run your life?
- How long are you going to continue to suffer over it?
- At what point will you let go of suffering and misery or ill health?
- When will the cost be greater than the payoff?
You may not have to hit the bottom
after all . . .
Sometimes when we face these things in our life and heal them for ourselves – these people, places and things either disappear or change because we don’t resonate with them anymore. Once our tendency and habits of suffering have been faced, questioned and allowed to be, without judgment, they no longer have power over us.
I suppose the good news is being a victim of (fill in the blank) cannot exist in the realm of taking self-responsibility. It’s impossible.
Are you willing to release resentments, regrets, petty disputes, family conflicts, and put aside negativity and judgment? These things hurt and effect you in a very negative way, even to the point of causing illness and negative circumstances. Are you willing to forgive yourself and others?
Again . . . Willingness and diligence!
It’s worth a try. Begin to see the world as one you’ve created. Usually, our world consists of elements from programming that have been fed to us as truth and things we’ve been told that were lies and believed were true: “You are stupid”, “You are not worthy”, You need money to be happy”. Once these beliefs are addressed, and your wounds healed, your life will change. As I mentioned previously in the chapter on Self-Love, once that journey begins, things change because you have transformed your vibration.
Everything in your life is there because it’s attracted to your specific vibration – no exceptions! It’s the Law of Resonance.
Do your best to:
- Face your fear.
- Question your beliefs.
- Begin to see the world as “your projection” and accept that what you perceive about everyone and everything only exists because you made it so.
- Become a neutral observer – allow it all (feelings, judgments, people, situations) to just “be” without going into story about it.
- Be willing to forgive yourself and others.
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