Building a Connection with God

Building a Connection with God


Not so long ago, I realized that I had no relationship or connection with God. I may have even been a bit skeptical, or perhaps had unfinished business with him. I knew about synchronicity, coincidence, The Secret, The Law of Attraction, the Universe, etc., but my interest was mainly from a point of view: “That’s just how things work here.” It wasn’t personal, I just knew this stuff existed. I had faith, but it was limited to only what I could achieve alone. I was the master of my life and the master of my destiny! 

God? God who?

I was also aware of a “hole” existing inside me accompanied with a feeling of emptiness. I suffered from fear and lack (insecurity, lack of trust, co-dependency, neediness, unfulfillment). I didn’t realize it was because I had no connection with God. I thought it was just me. I lived life as “capable, able and dependable” so I didn’t need anyone or anything.

That was how I presented myself to the world. It worked great in the work place! Every employer wants an employee like this to take advantage of – giving them all the responsibility only to be paid in peanuts. I (ego) felt validated, so therefore thought everything was fine. It was well contained and managed, thank you very much! 

. . . Or not . . . well, I thought it was anyway. I found out that being “capable, able and dependable” was an act – compensating for a failure to be. It wasn’t real and couldn’t be sustained without a cost. 

I remember going through a Dark Night of the Soul and feeling so absolutely alone. It would have been much easier with God! I seriously wonder, though if I could have experienced my Dark Night of the Soul if I was connected with God. I actually don’t know the answer to that. I can only guess I wouldn’t have felt the intense pain of separation if I had that connection. The pain is how we know we are separate in some way. It was a clue for me to look deeper and fill the emptiness from within and with a connection with God!

I have gained a deeper connection with myself during my journey to connect with God. As above, so below. In whatever ways I was lacking a connection with God, showed up as lacking within myself – lack of trust, conditional love, abandonment, anger, and negative beliefs about myself. With God now, I can do and be anything! I am in a way fearless, knowing as long as I am following God’s will, I am whole, fulfilled, and not alone. It feels better surrendering to a higher power who only has my best interest at heart. I just need to stay out of the way and remain unattached to outcomes! (The bane of my existence!)  

How did I achieve my connection?

  • I had to realize I was not connected to God and admit it.
  • I had to examine what was in the way – what was the problem (angry with God, negative beliefs, deprogramming Catholic upbringing, abandoned by God)
  • I addressed all the issues I found to be in the way of a connection by writing down all my negative beliefs (The Work, The Journey, Energetic Synthesis, Shamanism)…see Resources Page
  • I had to intend and be willing to connect, invite God into my life
  • Accept God into my life, let go of control
  • Surrender my Will to God’s Will and keep surrendering! This is a large commitment.

From my book, after my parts were all in my heart . . . without me there yet:

I looked up to the sky and yelled at God. I called him every name in the book and told him that He was mean and cruel. How could he let this happen? He was supposed to be a loving God. What a load of crap that was! I could feel anger rising and getting a shot of energy from it. It felt good, and boy was I ever angry! The hell with the pain, this anger was unbelievably invigorating! I felt so much freedom in expressing all this anger I didn’t even know existed within me. I was angry with God, angry with myself, angry with the world, and angry that my being had fractured into many pieces to begin with. 

It was all just madness, all of it, and I’d been stupid enough to believe it all. How could I have been so stupid and gullible? I felt miserable and alone and in pain and really, really angry. So much for being a spiritual being, so much for growth and learning, so much for wanting to be happy. All of that hard work I’d put in just to get more pain and suffering? I thought: Screw it, I am done. No more being nice. I don’t care anymore . . . though I felt a little guilty at the same time.

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5 responses to “Building a Connection with God”

  1. AmyRose🌹 Avatar

    Donna. Again where do I begin? Your Path is so similar to mine! Oh yes I went through a phase being soooooo angry with God. Today I never lie to God for what is in my heart is known to that Power and when I am “pissed” I acknowledge it. Recently I was on a hike and for 2 hours had a conversation with Yeshua, the one most know as Jesus. He is my Companion, my Friend, and had OB9(S) with him as a child. THAT is another story. Anyways … back to the hike. I ranted and I cried and I demanded answers regarding certain things and patterns in my life. I did get answers. One of them being I chose to experience the dark side of “Love” in order to know the “Light” side of Love. By the time I arrived back at my car I was at Peace within. I have yet to have full understanding of the whys regarding my life, but I just KNOW there are no accidents and I am being groomed/prepared for bigger and better. Perhaps it is not for this life but one that is to come, I don’t know. But the faith I have that ALL is good in my life makes my heart smile.
    I’ve had a “catholic” upbringing as well which I have walked away from. Even as a little girl I was questioning the nuns and priests about things and OH they were not happy with me. I was punished and was told I was wrong. I came right out and said I am not a sinner and of course the catholics being who they are were shocked because that is the whole premise with that religion … you gotta be a sinner because you were born with sin. No. I also said there was no place as Limbo and I was punished. Years later a Pope declared there was no place as Limbo and then the catholics accepted that fact. But do you know how many women were tortured thinking that their babies were not in heaven because they were not baptized? What a bunch of hooey! I knew our LOVING GOD would never do that to innocent children. When I was with Yeshua I saw how much he loved children and was very childlike himself. No. God is LOVE.
    I’m telling you I myself could write a book. I’m still reading yours and have gotten to the part of Jonnie and Joanie. Fascinating read, Donna. 😘🌸😘

    Like

    1. Donna Guillemette Avatar

      Hi Amy!
      Yes, our path’s sound really similar! That is so cool! What a blessing you know that your path is to know the dark side of love in order to know the light side of love. It really helps to have this information, the experiences in your life can then have deeper meaning and a context.
      You wrote: “I have yet to have full understanding of the whys regarding my life, but I just KNOW there are no accidents and I am being groomed/prepared for bigger and better.” I say the same thing! By going through our experiences there is so much we are healing within ourselves and on the planet as well. Let’s not forget healing through our DNA lines too! Our family benefits too when we heal. You have helped your family, up the lines, by completing all the stuff you have faced! And, yes your faith is strong, it would have to be!!! It feels like we have been planted on the Earth at this time, to help hold ascension codes on the physical Earth, among other things! I think you SHOULD write a book!! Even if it starts out just for you, then you can decide if you want to publish it. I didn’t think I would ever publish my book, but you never know! I self-published because I like the elements of doing something like that. I’ll have to see how it goes. Thanks again for taking the time to read it – glad you like it so far!! It’s nice to hear! Thanks for sharing so much of yourself!!! It is validating!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. AmyRose🌹 Avatar

        Please know, Donna, that these conversations I do not have every day and it is such a glorious experience for me. To be able to connect with someone in this manner is a Gift. I know I am helping my family yet truthfully I am not seeing it so again Faith kicks in and I just focus on ME. Bottom line it is still up the individual to change, to accept a Gift or not, to realize Truth. I have made a difference with my Mother, or at least at times I have seen it. And about that book … it is enough for now to be able to do what I do through WP. That is what my Heart is guiding me to do. That and my determination to experience LIFE fully while pushing forward with the huge plate I have set before me, that is more then enough. I’ve just recently showed Love to me by beginning to cut out pieces of the pie in order to give me more time to just relax and enjoy the Moment. May your weekend be glorious! 🌹

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        1. Donna Guillemette Avatar

          Thanks AmyRose! I really enjoy your posts in WP! They are very down to earth and real, and as a bonus the photography is stunning! You have a gift and I am happy to be a witness! Glad you are enjoying chatting on WP too, nice to be connected! It is nice to hear you are taking time for enjoyment, and so important too – I need to do it more myself. I’ll be moving to Shrewsbury soon and will live near a nice path along a brook – can’t wait to have nature on my doorstep! Take care!!! 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          1. AmyRose🌹 Avatar

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